


Little Pap Blue Now!

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Parody, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: The Great Papyrus isn't feeling so great today. Can his friends find out why?





	Little Pap Blue Now!

"this show is pretty cool. really relaxing."

Sans continued to watch the little girl and the doll, frozen in time as their game of tic tac toe would never finish. He swigged from his bottle, and reached for the popcorn. What he really wanted to know was when the static would come on?

It was as he thought about this that he heard the footsteps. Heavy and deliberate, maybe more so than usual. Thinking nothing of it, he turned round to see his brother.

"'sup, bro?"

"BAH!"

He knew instantly something was wrong. Papyrus was grinning. Well, he always grinned, but his sockets were devoid of the cheer he usually had.

"papyrus, what's going on?"

"NEVER YOU MIND!"

He swivelled on the spot, his cape twirling gracefully, and marched out of the room with none of the grace the cape promised. The front door slammed, and Sans heard a tinkle of glass.

"uh oh..."

* * *

"Can you see it now?"

Doggo squinted intensely. "Is it... over there?"

He pointed two feet to the left of the target. Dogamy sighed, walked over to it and gave it a jiggle.

"...oh. Dammit, I'm useless!"

"Come on, don't call yourself a bad boy over this! We all have these problems. You know I still can't smell Essa's cooking unless she licks it?"

"Well that's different. My Granddad was a master of seeing things! How can I do that unless everything's moving."

"Well, did you try those contact lenses Doctor Alphys designed."

"They make my fur itch. No, I don't understand it either. What about a human doctor, you think they can help my eyes?"

Dogamy shuddered. "I tried once, they tried to put a cone around my neck. What was that for?"

"Weird. Well maybe the human will know. I just wish..."

"Come on, Doggo, we'll get through this. Oh look, it's Papyrus, he'll back me up on this!"

The skeleton continued his march down the street, not really paying attention to the dogs.

"Hey, Papyrus, can you-"

Without acknowledging Dogamy at all, Papyrus walked past them, seized their target and snapped it in two, throwing it on the ground before walking away in utter silence.

"What's eating him?"

"I bet it's Lessy, he never knows restraint. Remember the frisbee incident?"

"Yeah. He should have his tail between his legs for that one."

"Yeah."

* * *

"Sis, not cool."

"I'm just saying, Bro, Undyne is still cool!"

"Well I guess, but Papyrus is underrated."

The two armless children were continuing an intense debate, as the rabbit happily watched them hold his wares in their tails.

"What about that time she bench pressed eight kids?"

"Yo, eight?! That's pretty cool-" Monsterkid mastered himself. "But nah. You weren't there. It was the human who pulled me up. That's when I thought that being cool isn't everything."

His sister looked betrayed. "What is there besides being cool?!"

"Well, there's being nice," offered the rabbit, "and I do like that bow in your spines. It matches your jumper."

She grinned. "Thanks! So is that why you like Papyrus? He's nice?"

"Well yeah, but he can be cool too! Remember when Frisk told us how he fought them? 'You're blue now! Nyeh-heh-heh!'"

"Oh, speaking of Papyrus..."

The three looked over the approaching skeleton.

"Dude, yo-"

He bumped roughly into the little girl, knocking her nice cream out of her tail. She stared at it in shock and horror.

"'s okay, Papyrus," said Monsterkid, "you were... wait, he didn't apologise!" He fearlessly pursued the skeleton. "Dude, what the heck, that nice cream cost-"

For a moment Monsterkid thought he was looking at Sans. The sockets were devoid of life, and threatened a bad time to anyone who got in his way. His remonstrance was stopped dead in its tracks.

"Oh, uh, maybe another time, dude." Papyrus continued on his way.

"Oh dear," sighed the Rabbit, "maybe I should give him a free nice cream when he comes by again."

* * *

"Come on, Alph, you've been slacking!"

"N-no I haven't! I did twenty reps yesterday!"

"Yeah, without warming up on the treadmill first! You want a pulled muscle, that's how you do it! You can't skimp out on technique, that's how you get hurt!"

"B-but the treadmill was b-broken."

"Then go for a jog or something! Hell, I'd have take you on mine!"

"Unnie, I c-can't keep up with you when you g-get into a sprint."

"Babe, I'd totally slow down for you!"

"...no you wouldn't"

"Well no, but that's besides the point! You wanna get fit, you gotta do it properly."

"W-while we're on the subject of s-slacking, d-did you get caught up, yet? The next episode c-comes out tonight."

"Oh. Well, uh, I got up to episode thirty two, but-"

Alphys squeaked. "Then you didn't even see when Heera discovers the- no, spoilers, s-sorry. We're g-going home right now to make sure you-"

A bright red glove landed roughly on both their chests, and shoved them apart so he could walk between them. Alphys actually fell over.

"Hey, Papyrus, what the hell-"

Undyne's instincts paid off as a spear flashed into being, just in time to parry the bone he'd swung at her.

"HEY! What are you doing?!"

He didn't answer. A second bone appeared in his free hand, which he used to trip her up. By the time she got back on her feet, he'd somehow cleared the rest of the block. She could only look back at Alphys, worried.

* * *

The pattern continued. The most fortunate were just ignored, or got a look that terrified them by virtue of its unusual source. Then those who were bumped into without apologies, or roughly shoved aside. And then there were those who had something broken. But at last, Papyrus stopped marching, and planted himself on a bench in the middle of the park, scaring human and monster alike with his never before seen scowl.

Before long notes were swapped, and a deputation began to coalesce around his brother. With a relaxed air absent from everybody else, Sans walked up to his brother.

"hey buddy."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"c'mon, you tellin' me you won't find anything _humer-_ whoop!"

He tilted his head to dodge the bone zooming towards him. Looking back at his brother, he shrugged.

"welp, i tried. i'm goin' to grillby's. papyrus, you want anything?"

"...FRIES!"

"sure thing."

And Sans was gone, though nobody saw which way he went. The fabulous hair of the next petitioner fluttered in a non-existant breeze.

"Papyrus, darling, the whole angst thing has its place in the world, but save it for the climax! Why don't you let us figure out what's wrong-"

Mettaton was hoisted into the air, and Papyrus started twisting his limbs in curious ways, before throwing him clear. A box with a lone wheel for mobility landed gracefully on the lawn.

"So does this mean you wanted my Classic Edition™?" called Mettaton. "Does this make you feel better?"

"NO. GO AWAY!"

"Hmph. No pleasing some people."

Next up was the tallest of the group. His purple eyes looked down at the foul mood before him with understanding. "Howdy, Papyrus! Now, I know we all have our bad days, I've definitely had some, but we can get through it by-"

 _PING._ Asgore shimmered blue and zoomed sideways, slamming into a tree with a loud "Oof!"

" **HEY!** " Undyne's non-existant temper grew even less corporeal. "Kick my ass if you want, but leave the king alone!"

Papyrus accepted the challenge. Once again he was on his feet with a bone swinging, but Undyne was ready for him. Her spear knocked the bone out of his hand, before swiftly meeting the other one.

"You're gonna have to try harder than-"

And now she was seized and hoisted into the air. Papyrus twirled her around and around before throwing her clear, but Undyne was no stranger to attempts to make her dizzy. She landed lightly on the ground and charged back towards her opponent, spears raining down and being knocked clear by bones. And then-

"Woah."

An array of tiny skulls, each looking somewhat like a dog's, were floating in the air. Despite never seeing them before Undyne knew to stay clear as every mouth opened and started to glow. She leapt high into the air, and this was fortunate, for each skull started shooting more bones where she had been standing. If she was honest with herself, it was something of a let down.

"'sup, i got your fries- um..." Socket met socket. "bro, what-"

The bone stopped half way towards Sans, then fell with a pathetic clatter.

"you got a _bone_ to pick with me, pap? 'cause if you take another step forward-"

Bones sprouted from the ground, dozens of them, strategically pinning Sans in place, leaving him unable to move.

"hey, this is pretty comfy." he drifted off to sleep.

Undyne rejoined the fray. The dog skulls backed off, and it became a furious melee, bone clashing against energy.

"Dammit- Papyrus- What- The- Hell- Is- Wrong?!"

If anything he fought even harder at this innocent question. While the fight continued, Alphys was trying to release Asgore from Papyrus' hold.

"I t-think it's like this?" His horns carved deep gouges into the tree as he was dragged upwards by three feet. "Oh m-my, sorry sir. Now maybe if I try-"

With a complicated twirling of her claws, the blue shimmer vanished, and Asgore collapsed onto the ground.

"Oof, thank you Alphys. Now perhaps we should-"

"Asgore?"

Toriel had arrived with the children, each holding some shopping bags.

"What is the matter?"

"It- it's P-Papyrus," stuttered Alphys, "something's w-wrong, he's been m-moody and n-now..."

The five of them looked over to the fight. The dog skulls were pelting Undyne in the back with more bones, but she shrugged them off as she continued to parry Papyrus' main attack.

"Golly," shouted Asriel, "I've never seen him like that before! Not even when, um..." Nobody paid attention.

"What's that you said?" This time everyone looked at Frisk, who was tilting their ear as if to try and hear someone. "Oh, right. So that's what it is. Okay guys, one second."

"My child, what-"

"Frisk, don't-"

Ignoring their mother and brother, Frisk headed towards the battle. In the few seconds that had passed being flanked had taken its toll on Undyne. With a particularly vicious overhead strike, Undyne was forced to her knees, where a second bony prison restrained her. Sans gave a loud grunt of a snore.

" **NGAH! WHAT THE F-** "

Papyrus turned as if to just walk away, but then sensed a new challenger, and wheeled around to face Frisk. A dozen dog skulls aimed at Frisk, but they did not fire. They weren't concerned, they just needed to... there we go.

Papyrus' empty sockets followed them as they walked right up to him, put their hand in his pocket and pulled something out. The whole park seemed brighter. The skulls vanished, and the bony prisons alone with them. Sans was still asleep. Papyrus was still grinning, but this time his sockets had a twinkle which matched the expression.

"OH, THERE IT IS! I SEARCHED MY ENTIRE ROOM FOR MY KUNG FU GRIP ACTION FIGURE, AND I COULDN'T FIND IT. WHAT A NUMBSKULL I AM, IT WAS IN MY POCKET THE ENTIRE TIME. NYEH-HEH-HEH! THANK YOU, FRISK!"

"Don't mention it."

With newly reborn clarity, Papyrus surveyed the battlefield. His twinkle was muted a little.

"...AH. I'M SORRY, EVERYBODY, I WAS IN A BIT OF A TIZZY. I SHALL GO TO THE POLICE STATION AND TURN MYSELF IN!"

"Now now, that won't be necessary," said Asgore patiently, "and they're rather reluctant to arrest monsters who turn up at their front desk unannounced. Take it from personal experience. Maybe next time..." Nobody paid attention. "Anyway, perhaps we should just try and put the park right?"

"EVEN BETTER! PRISON WOULD PROBABLY BE BORING AFTER A WHILE! OH, DID SANS GET MY FRIES?"

"I think he's lying on top of them."

"TYPICAL!"

**Author's Note:**

> Original Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/iwsUrDfr
> 
> Yes it's a version of that one Ed Edd n Eddy episode.
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
